


you should stay

by strawbbun



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, This is so soft, am i self projecting onto a kpop boy again?, non-au, they are in love okay, yes I am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 21:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20298586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbbun/pseuds/strawbbun
Summary: sunwoo can't sleep and changmin helps calm his mind.





	you should stay

**Author's Note:**

> _✧ ✧ ✧ _
> 
> _hi hi, so i rlly want to fill the sunkyu tag because they are actually the Cutest, so here's this! as always, hope you enjoy ♡ _  

> 
> __  
[my twitter](https://twitter.com/strawbbun)  


Sometimes, Sunwoo just wishes his mind would shut up. 

It's as if he's never satisfied with himself. _ Lose a little weight. Practice more. Eat less. _ It all plagued his mind. How he would rewatch his performances more times than he can count on his fingers and point out every little mistake he made, every little thing he could do better. He wished he could just be happy with himself every once in a while, but it seemed like too much of a reach at this point. As if he's fallen into the dark pit of self-depreciation, dug himself so far into a ditch and he's not strong enough to climb back into the light.

His mind was so dark sometimes, but he was always too busy to be scared of it. He distracts himself by vocal practices or running over choreos that he knows until his limbs are gonna give out. He's been pushing himself so much that Sangyeon has to threaten him to rest and even when he does, the thoughts still linger. _ He's not enough for this world._ And it all comes hitting at full force when he lays down to sleep at night, despite Juyeon's soft snores and Younghoon's shuffling, the silence eats him up, taking bigger pieces of him with every bite.

And he can't stop the tears from stinging at his eyes when he realizes the maybe he'll feel this way forever. Maybe he won't ever feel as if he should really be here. As if someone else deserves this spot in the world and not him. Maybe his mind will never quiet down and that _scares_ him. He knows that he can't do this by himself. He's not strong enough for this. It's crumbling him, draining him, and it shows with each performance. He's suffocating.

"Sunwoo?" Changmin's sleep laced voice spoke, snapping Sunwoo back into the present. He was standing in the doorway of Changmin's shared room. Was his mind that loud that he couldn't even hear his own footsteps? It's gotten worse, way worse. Sunwoo's losing this fight. "C'mere, love,"

Sunwoo followed Changmin's command, walking towards his bottom bunk trying to be as quiet as possible so that he wouldn't wake Kevin, Hwall's bed empty, seeing as he was currently at home resting. He slipped under Changmin's covers, the warmth enveloping Sunwoo's cold body. 

Changmin wraps his arms around the younger's waist, pulling him into his body heat. It feels nice. This is nice. Sunwoo lets his tense muscles relax, tucking his head into Changmin's neck, placing a light kiss there. "Sunwoo," Changmin whispered, the younger pulling back to look Changmin in the eyes, his features lit by Kevin's fairy lights on the other side of the room. Sunwoo saw Changmin's brows furrow as his thumb brushed over the younger's cheekbone. He knows. "Were you crying?"

Swunwoo feels his throat close up. "It's nothing. I just... I just need you right now," Sunwoo whispered back, loud enough for Changmin to hear, but quiet enough to not be heard by anyone else. Changmin had a look in his eyes as if he wanted to press further, but Sunwoo doesn't like to talk about his feelings. He was supposed to be the mood maker of the group and he didn't like to put his burdens on anyone else. 

"You know you can tell me anything, baby. I'll always listen," Changmin reminded Sunwoo, hand moving from his cheek to run his finger's through the younger's red hair.

"I know," Sunwoo replied, but said nothing else, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his lover's finger's massaging his scalp. He lets himself get lost in the feeling. Changmin was so warm and Sunwoo felt the ice around his mind slowly but surely melting.

"I love you so much, okay?" Changmin admitted and Sunwoo found his eyes opening again. Changmin's eyes were now shut too and Sunwoo couldn't help but think how lucky he is to have him. Even if they couldn't show their love outside of this little thing they have going on, it was worth it. Changmin was worth it.

Sunwoo lightly pecked Changmin's nose, a small smile finding its way onto the older's face at the feeling. Changmin pulled Sunwoo impossibly closer to himself, opening his hooded eyes to stare into Sunwoo's. It caught him off guard when Changmin pressed a soft kiss to his lips, so soft that Sunwoo barely believes it even happened, but then Changmin did it again and again and Sunwoo finally kissed back. 

It felt so right, being here with Changmin. The voices in the back of his mind still chatted on, screamed at him, yelled at him, but Changmin's lips put them on mute and even if it was just for a second, it was like a breath of fresh air for Sunwoo. He could breathe.

Their lips moved lazily against each other's, Sunwoo letting Changmin guide him through it. Sunwoo placed a hand on Changmin's cheek to kiss even deeper, bodies molding together into one. It was comforting to have Changmin there to ground him so that he wouldn't get lost in his own mind, thumbs softly running over Sunwoo's waist. They reluctantly pulled apart, Sunwoo chasing after Changmin's lips, not wanting this moment to end yet. Changmin laughed softly, pecking Sunwoo one last time. Sunwoo pouted, but let Changmin pull away.

"We have to sleep, angel," Sunwoo tucked his head back into Changmin's neck, the faint smell of the older's vanilla body wash overtaking his senses. Changmin stroked Sunwoo's back softly, letting him know that he won't be going anywhere. "G'night, love,"

"Night. I love you," Sunwoo mumbled onto Changmin's skin. 

"I love you," Changmin simply spoke, voice already sounding as if he was falling asleep. Sunwoo felt a little bad for waking him up, but he knew that Changmin didn't mind.

Sunwoo's mind was now quieter, the voices simply whispering in the back, but Changmin's heartbeat drowned them out for a little while and for once, Sunwoo could sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> __
> 
> _✧ ✧ ✧_
> 
> _*sorry for any mistakes*_
> 
> _thank you for reading!! comments and kudos are very appreciated ♡ _  

> 
> __  
[my new cc](https://curiouscat.me/strawbbun)  
[my twitter](https://twitter.com/strawbbun)  



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